“Don’t call me Naomi,” she told them. “Call me Mara, because the Almighty has made my life very bitter. I went away full, but the Lord has brought me back empty. Why call me Naomi? The Lord has afflicted me; the Almighty has brought misfortune upon me.” Ruth 1:20,21
When going through tough times, I am sure we can all relate to the feelings of Naomi. Depression seizes us in a stranglehold, and we see no way out. The far horizon, where the good times were, seems too distant to recall, and the present envelops us so closely that the future is hidden behind its dark clouds. Happiness and contentment are part of a dim and almost forgotten dream that will fade, never to be recalled. The “to do” list of each day is too heavy and lengthy to consider so it gets pushed to one side, adding to the ever increasing daily load. Don’t call me Naomi, for she is gone. I am another person now; Mara, bitter and disillusioned.
The name Naomi means ‘pleasant’, and looking at the relationship that has been built with her daughters in law, we can see that she was indeed a pleasant lady. A Hebrew, well versed in the knowledge of the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, she would, as an obedient and caring wife, have submitted to her husband’s decision to escape the famine in Judah by going to live for a while in Moab. We can surmise that because they were living in an alien culture, the two boys were influenced by it, and after the death of their father they were unwilling to wait for an opportunity to meet women of their own culture, succumbing instead to finding wives from amongst the women of their acquaintance in Moab. A mother’s influence has far reaching effect though, and the wives were obviously willing to embrace the life-style of their mother-in-law. The fact that they were both willing to follow her after the deaths of their husbands shows a natural affection that had blossomed from her loving acceptance of them. What beautiful bonding, and how precious it is to have a loving relationship with one’s daughters, received not by natural birth, but developed, in devotion and approval of the choice of one’s sons.
We can see in Naomi a wife of noble character, whose husband, and later her sons, had full confidence in her, for she had cared for them and provided for them in such a way as influenced their wives to want to emulate her goodness. Used to hard work and well able to run her household with wisdom and thrift, yet, in the throes of depression after losing her loved ones, decisions had to be made, and it seemed expedient for her to return to the land of her origins, leaving behind those she had come to love in her adopted country. Selflessly, she ordered their return to their own families, with the hope that they would again find happiness and contentment with new husbands.
“Go back, each of you,” she told them, “to your mother’s home. May the Lord show kindness to you, as you have shown to your dead and to me. May the Lord grant that each of you will find rest in the home of another husband.” Ruth 1:8,9
She kissed them, and they wept. One at last agreed, but not without proclaiming her love for this woman who had shown her such respect and set such a good example of domestic strength and stability. Orpah returned to her people, perhaps better equipped for her future because of her mother-in-law’s influence.
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Proverbs 31:30
Surely, these are qualities that shone through Naomi even in her distress, and encouraged Ruth to stay with her as support and comfort for her journey back to Judah.
Naomi proclaimed herself as Mara, bitter and bereft of hope, feeling abandoned by her God, and reliant only on her own initiatives. She was as yet unaware of what God had planned for her, as He watched over her, prepared the way, and gently influenced her spirit.
We have the benefit of hindsight, and can read Proverbs 31:31 in confidence.
Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gates.
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